Generosity, Codependence, and Fearless Compassion

This is Chapter 15 of the Kornfield book.

PROBLEM:

“In many relationships our fears and dependence may leave us afraid to tell the truth.  We may be unable to set limits, afraid to say no.  Or generosity that is initially healthy may degenerate into compulsion.  For instance, the woman who gives long hours over many years to support volunteer, spiritual, or nonprofit organizations (where the work seems endless) and over these same years neglects her own body, health, development, and self-esteem.  There are also men who have trouble saying no, no matter what is asked of them.  After many years of this they find themselves filled to the brim with resentment without understanding how they got that way.”  (Kornfield 218)

SOLUTION:

“In his instruction on mindfulness the Buddha recommended that we give careful attention to the states of the heart that prompt our actions.  It is too idealistic to expect that we will always just want to do good; we must listen to know when the heart is attached, to know when the heart is afraid, to know when the heart is dependent.  By listening deeply, we can begin to sort out dependence from love.  Similarly, we can distinguish when the heart is open, when we are free of attachment, when mutual respect and caring is present.  Based on this, our acts can be wise and compassionate.”  (Kornfield 221).

Accepting the Cycles of Spiritual Life

This is Chapter 12 of the Kornfield book.

Aha! And this is why I read spiritual books and why I want to get in touch with my spiritual self:

“Just as there is beauty to be found in the changing of the earth’s seasons and an inner grace in honoring the cycles of life, our spiritual practice will be in balance when we can sense the time that is appropriate for retreats and the time that is appropriate for travel, the time for settling down and planting roots, and the time to have a family and children.”  (Kornfield 171)–I’d like to write a quick prayer: God, please let me sense the time that is appropriate.  The time that is appropriate.  Let me be vigilant in my prayer to you.  Let me be open to accepting your sense of appropriate timing.  Let me know, or feel, or sense, when the time comes to settle down and plant roots.   Let me know, or feel, or sense, when the time comes to have a family and children.  In your name, I pray, AMEN.

Here’s what Kornfield has to say about my current stage of life:

“As we move into the responsibilities of young adult, we develop a compassionate concern for others besides ourselves.  This ripening can bring us a sense of interdependence, the need for mutual respect and social justice, that is a source of awakening to the path of universal compassion.” (Kornfield 174). –Again, a prayer:  God, please let me feel contentment with being a young adult.  Allow me to develop a sense of interdependence.  Allow me to reach out to others with mutual respect and compassion.  Allow me to embrace social justice that you seek for the world.  In your name, I pray, AMEN.

Here’s what Kornfield has to say about retreats and recovery:

“Modern spiritual practice often requires that we temporarily enter a spiritual community, only to return home after some days or weeks.  This transition, from the openness and support of a retreat and a spiritual community to the complexity of our daily life, can be difficult, especially if we hold on to any notion that one phase is more spiritual than the other.” (Kornfield 179).–The last prayer:  God, thank you for the tremendous spiritual opportunities you offer me.  May I accept them and appreciate them.  May I also accept the complexity of my daily life and appreciate it.  May I release any notion that one phase is more spiritual than the other.  In your name, I pray, AMEN.

Focus

The Spiritual Roller Coaster: Kundalini and Other Side Effects

This is Chapter 9 of the Kornfield book.

The sections in this chapter are:

(1)  Atitudes Toward Altered States–Certain spiritual paths insist that we need to attain profoundly altered states of consciousness in order to discovery a “transcendent” vision of life, to open beyond our body and mind and realize the divine taste of liberation. [Other schools]’s teachings say that liberation and transcendence must be discovered here and now, for if not here in the present, where else can it be found?  Instead of seeking to transcend, the perspective of the “immanent” school teaches reality, enlightenment, or the divine must shine through every moment or it is not genuine. (p. 120)

(2)  Some Common Altered States–When we begin a spiritual practice, we struggle with the pains of our body and the armoring we have forged for it over the years, we face emotional storms, and we encounter a procession of five common hinderances.  But as we continue spiritual practice, and become more familiar and compassionate with our deepest difficulties, even the most ingrained pattens of holding and fear will gradually lose their power over us.  We develop a spirit of calm and steadiness, whatever our means of practice. (p. 122)

(a)  Raptures–rapture is a broad term used to cover the many kinds of chills, movements, lights, floating, vibrations, delight, and more that open with deep concentration, as well as the enormous pleasure they can bring to meditation.  (p. 122)…Deep concentration can lead to all kinds of visions and visionary experiences.  Floods of memories, images of past lives, scenes of foreign lands, pictures of heavens and hells, the energies of all the great archetypes, can open before our eyes.  (p. 125)…(this has happened to me:  “…we can experience a release of the strongest kinds of emotions, from sorrow and despair to delight and ecstasy.  Meditation may feel like an emotional roller coaster as we allow ourselves to be plunged into unconscious emotions.” p. 126)

(b)  Chakras–This section describes the chakras and the openings of the energy body and the experience as our inner energy tries to move and free itself in the body

(3)  Skillful Means of Working with the Energetic and Emotional Openings–we need a teacher who has personally encountered and understood these dimensions of the psyche

(a)  All Experiences are Side Effects–In the Buddhist tradition, the Buddha often reminded students that the purpose of his teaching was not the accumulation of special good deeds and good karma or rapture or insight or bliss, but only the sure heart’s release–a true liberation of our being in every realm.  This freedom and awakening, and this alone, is the purpose of any genuine spiritual path. (p. 129)

(b)  Finding the Brake—very cool and interesting section!  The most important thing, however, is:  it is necessary to find a guide, someone who has touched their own madness, grief, and loss of boundaries, who can gradually and fearlessly direct us back to the ground of our own true nature.  (p. 132)

(c)  Awareness of the Dance–the practitioner’s primary responsibility is to open to the experience with a full awareness, observing and sensing it as a part of the dance of our human life. (p. 133)

(4)  Meditation:  Reflecting on Your Attitude Toward Altered States